Still trying to be a great Muslimah.
Will update this blog someday.
:)
Because He knows what best for us.

April 28, 2015

He Knows Best

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)

Korang tahu tak? Dulu aku selalu tertanya tanya.
Awat lah jalan hidup aku tak smooth macam kawan kawan aku yang lain.
Cukup Parents nak tengok diorang membesar.
Masuk IPTA pun senang. 
Aku pulak. Ish ish ish.

That time. Err. Always. If I had faced any difficulties in life, mesti ada yang cakap.

"Takpe Wa. Sabar kay. He Knows What Best for you."

Dan banyak. My previous entry talk on this. On being patient. Being strong.
Because of why? Because Allah knows best. Simple nye jawapan.

Kadang kadang bila orang bagi jawapan macam tu. Rasa nak fire balik pun ada. Ye Idok?
Macam lah dia tahu kesusahan yang kita alami. Duk suruh sabar lah. Be Strong lah. Eh eh eh.

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.  2:153

Baiklah. Asyik duk cakap benda ni boring jugak.
Lemme tell you my experience. I want to explain why He knows Best. Like the best lah!

Dulu. Masa kena reject IPTA, honestly. Ada sikit sebanyak aku salahkan pihak UiTM sebab buat silap dekat result aku.
And I was devastated.

Rasa masa tu macam membazir je aku masuk Asasi Undang Undang setahun. Cuba lah kalau aku masuk matrik, takde nye jadi macam ni. Takdenya ada kes silap letak grade. Takdenya kes silap buat aku tak datang masa exam dalam slip exam. 
Setahun kot. Aku harap dengan asasi boleh jadi tiket untuk masuk IPTA.
Mudahnya harapan.

Tiba tiba sebab kes tu, punah harapan makk. Tsk Tsk.

Dan bila dapat UNITEN, sebenarnya I was not excited. Langsung tak. 
I don't feel as excited as my friends yang masuk IPTA. Air mata. Takyah cakap. Macam Air Terjun Gunung Stong. Eh. Over.

Masa tu, satu ayat je yang buat aku kuat.

 '...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' (Surah Baqarah: 216)

Tu je yang buat aku kuat. Over ah pulak kata aku kuat. I was not. 
That Quran verse did make me strong. In fact, it is my favourite verse of Quran.

At that time, I didn't know what will happen to me dekat UNITEN. Kena buli ke, kena reject lagi ke, result menjunam ke, takleh survive ke. I didn't know. Dah lah dah lama tinggal mathematic. Blergh.

I was just like, follow the flow. Acah.



By the time I was in the middle of my first semester in UNITEN.
I realized something. I realized why did Allah sends me to UiTM first then baru lah melencong pi UNITEN.
I realized the reasons why did Allah sends me to Asasi Law first tapi last pi Business Management. Jauh. I know.

That time, I realized that my habit in study had changed. 
My confidence level had rose. And my personality, ada sikit berubah.

Masa mid semester, ramai kawan kawan aku duk complain. Penat lah dengan Jadual UNITEN. But then, I feel that I can adjust it to my comfort.
Sebab dulu masa asasi terbiasa kelas start 8 a.m sampai 6 p.m. Straight. TT.TT
Jadual UNITEN sangat flexible. Bagi aku lah. Sebab boleh balik berehat masa ada senggang antara kelas. hehe.

My friends complaint yang 6 subjects for 4 month is not sooo cool.
But during my asasian, I have to survive 8 subjects untuk 4 bulan. So, 6 subjects in 4 months was just fine to me.

And my confidence level to talk in front of people had rose.
I am not the people yang fluent tahap petala ke lapan bila speaking.
Grammar berterabur terang tang tang.
But during my asasi, I was taught to ignore that. And just talk when I feel it is necessary to talk. For example, during class ke. Depan madam ke. 
Dulu, I was scared nak tanya soalan dekat lecturers during classes. Takut di label sebagai tak berapa pandai. Haha. Lemas jugak otak aku dulu.

There are lots of things that I perasan yang berubah.

Then, aku betul betul betul realize. Haa. 3 kali terus aku bagi.
That rejection that I faced before this was utterly dissapointing.
But then. Allah knows the best. He re-direct me to UNITEN.
He re-direct me to the right path. 
Cheesy nye rasa. But heck. That's the truth.

Lambat jugak nak bagi aku sedar tu. Mungkin banyak sangat makan maggi. Mihmihmih.

Pernah Rasulullah ditanya,

Ya Rasulullah, siapakah yang paling keras mendapatkan ujian? Baginda menjawab: Para Nabi dan
pengikut-pengikutnya. Seseorang itu akan diuji sesuai dengan kadar agama, jika kadar beragamanya kuat maka ujiannya semakin keras. Jika kadar beragamanya lemah maka dia diuji sesuai dengan kadar agamanya. Seorang hamba akan senatiasa diuji sampai dia akan dibiarkan berjalan di muka bumi tanpa membawa dosa kesalahan. 
– Hadis riwayat Imam al-Tirmidzi (no: 2322)

Tiada dosa hoii. Tiada dosa. Siapa tak nak?
To my friends who are in some difficulties or hardship, *siapa je tak. -.-
Have Faith in Him. He is the best planner after all. And the one who believes in Him will get the rewards at the end of the day.
Sebab Allah tu Pencipta kita. Confirm confirm lah Pencipta lebih tahu tentang apa yang diciptaNya. Ye dok?

And the one yang diuji oleh Allah ni sebenarnya the one yang Allah sayang. :)
Cuba belek balik sirah sirah Nabi dan Rasul. Ada ke Nabi atau Rasul yang tak pernah diuji olehNya? Tak ada kan.
So, bergembiralah wahai Sahabat. Because we are the one yang Allah sayang. Because at the end of the day, there would be something happy await us. :)

Till then, Toodles. Good bye.
Assalamualaikum. :)



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April 4, 2015

Mumbling

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)

Ya Tuhan. I lost count on how long I did not visit this blog.
Oh yes. I am quite a bit lazy and busy. And I'd been having Idea blocking on for how long I don't remember. --'

There are lots of thing that happened during months I didn't update this blog.
I get through my first sem, I became aunt to my first cutie niece,
and more importantly, I'm getting gemok dan comel. Miahahahaha. Abaikan yang comel tu.

Alhamdulillah. I am fine and healthy. 
Really. Aku berterima kasih to the one yang hantar message tanya pasal blog ni.
I don't really think that someone had been reading this blog.
Sebab all of the things in this blog is about my thought.

Bukannya orang rajin sangat pun nak baca fikiran orang lain.
So, Thank you. :)





Recently, I'd been thinking a lot about my personality.
Some had been saying that I'd changed. They said that I'd changed from the time I'd been in UiTM and I am in UNITEN.
So, banyak jugak lah aku fikir. Tang mana berubah entah lah. Nak kata semakin comel, yang tu tak boleh dinafikan. Tapi kalau personaliti, entah lah. Mungkin semakin ayu mungkin. Atau semakin lembut. Wakakakakaka. 

I have to admit that I am happier in Muadzam compared to the time when I'm in Shah Alam.
It isn't because of the people or the place or so whatever.
It is because of myself. Heh.

During the time I was in Shah Alam, I was not being me. 
I have the thought that I am wearing tudung besar, jubah. So, I have to act accordingly. People had been assuming me as alim, warak, ayu, lembut, dan sebagainya yang sememangnya bukan aku.
So due to that, I've been trying to achieve their expectation. Ending up, I was not being me and I had become an unhappy monster who kept blaming someone else for my unhapiness.

So, I decided that I would stop being someone else and just being me.
I would stop being that hypocrisy monster.
Madam Psycho aku pernah cakap. Sakit bila kita tahan dari jadi diri kita.
Just to fit in a society, we would trying hard to be like them. Diri kita yang sebenar tu kita buang tasik. So, where is the uniqueness of us?

I am that loud person who will speak up for everything that I do think it is necessary to be spoken out.
I am that person who is not alim, warak and I am in a middle of learning of everything. Including Islam thing. :)
I am that person who is not ayu langsung, brutal bagai gengster, and kelembutan tu not defining me.
I am that same person from the time I was 16. 

Why I am talking about this?
There are people who judged me. And often, I ignored them. Awal awal lagi aku dah buang mereka ke bulan.
There are people who told me that my personality doesn't define for how I am wearing. 
I don't know what they mean by that.
Apa? Adakah perlu untuk kami perempuan yang bertudung besar ni duduk senyap je, bajet cover ayu, not talking to anyone, and being friend with the one yang pakaian sama macam kami? Is that it?
How shallow you are.

We, human. Does not defined by how we wear. Okay maybe a little.
But, you can't halo effect-ing people and judging them with what they wear.
We are human. We make mistakes. Lots of mistakes.
If you want to tell people that they are making mistakes. Then tell them that they are making mistakes because of them. And don't relate that to what they wear or whatever. That is low and judgemental.



I don't know. This issue had been problems for how many years I didn't remember.
Do you know why some people are scared to change? 
Because there are people who judged people like this exist in this world.

Do not make this world more complicated as it is right now.
Jom tukar mind set. Stop being judgemental. 
And stop being someone yang jadi batu penghalang untuk orang berubah. 

I am really mumbling right now.
Apa yang aku cakap ni? Lain yang aku aim nak cakap. Lain yang terkeluar. -.-'

Next time. We will see again. I will try to update as much as possible.
But not soon. Not later. Hahahaha 

Assalamualaikum. Toodles. :)

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