Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)
Ya Tuhan. I lost count on how long I did not visit this blog.
Oh yes. I am quite a bit lazy and busy. And I'd been having Idea blocking on for how long I don't remember. --'
There are lots of thing that happened during months I didn't update this blog.
I get through my first sem, I became aunt to my first cutie niece,
and more importantly, I'm getting gemok dan comel. Miahahahaha. Abaikan yang comel tu.
Alhamdulillah. I am fine and healthy.
Really. Aku berterima kasih to the one yang hantar message tanya pasal blog ni.
I don't really think that someone had been reading this blog.
Sebab all of the things in this blog is about my thought.
Bukannya orang rajin sangat pun nak baca fikiran orang lain.
So, Thank you. :)
Recently, I'd been thinking a lot about my personality.
Some had been saying that I'd changed. They said that I'd changed from the time I'd been in UiTM and I am in UNITEN.
So, banyak jugak lah aku fikir. Tang mana berubah entah lah. Nak kata semakin comel, yang tu tak boleh dinafikan. Tapi kalau personaliti, entah lah. Mungkin semakin ayu mungkin. Atau semakin lembut. Wakakakakaka.
I have to admit that I am happier in Muadzam compared to the time when I'm in Shah Alam.
It isn't because of the people or the place or so whatever.
It is because of myself. Heh.
During the time I was in Shah Alam, I was not being me.
I have the thought that I am wearing tudung besar, jubah. So, I have to act accordingly. People had been assuming me as alim, warak, ayu, lembut, dan sebagainya yang sememangnya bukan aku.
So due to that, I've been trying to achieve their expectation. Ending up, I was not being me and I had become an unhappy monster who kept blaming someone else for my unhapiness.
So, I decided that I would stop being someone else and just being me.
I would stop being that hypocrisy monster.
Madam Psycho aku pernah cakap. Sakit bila kita tahan dari jadi diri kita.
Just to fit in a society, we would trying hard to be like them. Diri kita yang sebenar tu kita buang tasik. So, where is the uniqueness of us?
I am that loud person who will speak up for everything that I do think it is necessary to be spoken out.
I am that person who is not alim, warak and I am in a middle of learning of everything. Including Islam thing. :)
I am that person who is not ayu langsung, brutal bagai gengster, and kelembutan tu not defining me.
I am that same person from the time I was 16.
Why I am talking about this?
There are people who judged me. And often, I ignored them. Awal awal lagi aku dah buang mereka ke bulan.
There are people who told me that my personality doesn't define for how I am wearing.
I don't know what they mean by that.
Apa? Adakah perlu untuk kami perempuan yang bertudung besar ni duduk senyap je, bajet cover ayu, not talking to anyone, and being friend with the one yang pakaian sama macam kami? Is that it?
How shallow you are.
We, human. Does not defined by how we wear. Okay maybe a little.
But, you can't halo effect-ing people and judging them with what they wear.
We are human. We make mistakes. Lots of mistakes.
If you want to tell people that they are making mistakes. Then tell them that they are making mistakes because of them. And don't relate that to what they wear or whatever. That is low and judgemental.
I don't know. This issue had been problems for how many years I didn't remember.
Do you know why some people are scared to change?
Because there are people who judged people like this exist in this world.
Do not make this world more complicated as it is right now.
Jom tukar mind set. Stop being judgemental.
And stop being someone yang jadi batu penghalang untuk orang berubah.
I am really mumbling right now.
Apa yang aku cakap ni? Lain yang aku aim nak cakap. Lain yang terkeluar. -.-'
Next time. We will see again. I will try to update as much as possible.