Still trying to be a great Muslimah.
Will update this blog someday.
:)
Because He knows what best for us.

May 26, 2017

A Letter to Najwa Mazlan

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)

I'm writing this to myself. For the current Najwa and for future Najwa.

Najwa,
I hope you would never forget on what I am going to tell you.



Najwa,
No matter what will happen, do remember that there are reasons on why they happen. You might think that some certain things are better if they had not happened, but it had. You might be sad and down due to it. Or your heart may get crushed and broken by it. 
But do truly think and bear in your mind, that there are reasons why they happened. Allah wants to talk to you the most. Find the Hikmah in everything. 

Najwa,
Some of your plans might fail in the middle part of it. 
But maybe it is for the best. Just never stopped in trying to plan for the better you. 
Every time you want to plan on something, Do ask yourself on why do you decided to plan them? To please yourself? To please everyone else? or to please Allah?
Never forget that the reason that you live in this world is to please the Ultimate Him. Never forget this one piece of advice.:')

Najwa,
Never forget to always pray that your heart, your words, your acts, and your decisions will always be guided by Allah. Because really. Everything from Him is the best and the best only. Because really, no one knows us better from Him. The Al-Khaliq.

Najwa,
It is okay if you could not achieve to everyone's expectations. We had been there together. And we know how expectation always hurt us. And we both know that how much we fear for the expectations.
But it is okay. It is okay. Do not let them get into your mind so much.
You are better than their expectations. We are better. 
The one who we should care a lot is trying to achieve Allah's expectations towards us. 



Najwa,
You might hate your part that you easily care and love about something and someone.
It is the part that you want to get rid so much. As you think that it makes you weak, and look weak. And it is the part that you could never openly discuss on.
But it is okay. Allah loves you for who you are Najwa. 

Najwa,
Do remember this piece of advice. Never put too much hopes on something that is not yours. Never love too much on something that is not yours. Because your heart might get hurt a lot from it.
Always pray that your heart is attached towards Allah the most. Always pray that Allah makes you happy from things that belong to you.

Najwa,
Always put your positive thought towards Allah's plans. Always have faith in Him. Always believe that His plan is for the best for you. 
You might be some kind of lost right now as you don't know what will happen and what lies ahead. 
But do know that Allah had planned everything and it is the best for you. 
You just have to pray that Allah will ease the best for you and have your ultimate faith in Him.

Najwa,
Always pray that you can become someone that is soft like Saidatina Aisyah and someone that is strong like Saidatina Khadijah and Saidatina Maryam.
In whatever things that will come towards you, always think on what and how they will handle the situation. You are not weak as you think you are. 
Always choose to be strong over giving up. 
Always choose to have faith over fears.



Najwa, 
Do remember to always put Allah on the top of everything. Always 
renew your heart and your niat or purposes over everything. 

Do remember that everything will turn out just fine. It is just a matter of time. :)

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April 4, 2017

Grateful

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)


Recently, one of my friends asked me.
"What is the meaning of grateful? And How to be One?"
That question actually put me into some real thinking.
Because I rarely thought about something right now as I am in holiday mood. So it is rare for me to think about things seriously bila dalam holiday ni. Haha.
Mind that.

When thinking about that Question, it kind of strike me down actually. Huhu.
At that time, I realize that I had not been grateful enough for my life.
And at that time, I found lots of things that made me realize I am really lucky to be me.


You know, since I was a kid. I had never been hungry. I mean I am well fed. Well. Kalau nak cakap pasal masa tak dapat fast food or snack sebab parents tak bagi tu lain cerita. Tu kalau rasa not well fed sebab tak dapat benda benda macam tu, itu gedik namanya. Haha.
My parents always provide me with the best food. And I get a chance to eat fast food like KFC, Pizza, and so on. And still, until now, I had never been in a state where Gua perlu tahan lapar sebab tak ada duit. Most of my money went to the foods. Sebab tu lah badan gemuk tak ingat dunia.

But somehow, I found that lots of people had never had chances like me. 
Some of them had to put their hunger aside just to survive their student life. 
And some of them do think a lot everytime they want to eat things like KFC, or Pizza, or just wanting to eat.
It put me down when I realize that I do really am lucky but I never been grateful for this thing as I thought it is a simple and casual things in my life.


I've had never been in a state where I have to put my education process on hold just because I have no money.
My parents had always put my education as the first and foremost thing.
And really. Before this, I never thought that education is a privilege. But it is a normal thing to have.

But some of my friends had to put their education on hold just because they didn't have enough money. Eventhough they are much smarter and more brilliant than me. To them, it is a privilege to have such education. While to me, education is just a norm things to have.

And whenever I was in distress or being tested with some of the things, I frequently whining and complaint.
While in fact, after that. Good things do happened to me just because of that. 


And Lots and lots of things had happened to me in these 2 years. And I get to witnessed a lot of things that made me realize that I am just one of the ungrateful person.

While in fact, Allah SWT had explained in his Quran that the only people who truly worship Him is the one who is grateful to Him. (Al Baqarah;172)

So, to me. Being grateful is by crediting all of the things to Allah and Allah only. And by showing to Him that we are really grateful to Him
We said Alhamdulillah everytime we prayed by reading Al Fatihah. In a day, it would be 17 times a day. But does it is enough as in being grateful?


There are 3 ways in showing that we are grateful to Him.
By Heart (Qalb)
By words (Lisan)
By Acts (Jawarih)

By heart is by intending to do all the good things and avoid all the things that Allah hates.

By words is giving all the credit to Him for everything that we have right now. 
As everything belongs to Him and Him only. It had never been belong to us.
However, most of us will surely say Alhamdulillah when they get good things. How about Calamity and Distress?

All of the things that happened either it is good or bad are from Him. And something good will come after it appropriately to how we respond to it.
So, whenever we are in Calamity and Distress, Do Say Alhamdulillah. As it may have good hikmah behind that test. :)

And By acts is by doing goods and avoiding all the things that Allah hates.
Being patient, Giving Zakat, Helping people, Giving back to society yada yada.
There really lots of things to do you know.

I am really bad at closing the entry. But I do really hope that you get everything that I want to say.
Be Grateful for every single and simple things that happened to your life. :)


Footnote: I know its been 2 years since my last update. But then Hi again. Its good to have some place to rant again.
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June 22, 2015

Kerana Ia Usrah



Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam Ramadhan to all readers :)

The last time I updated my blog was during April. Tak ada lah lama sangat tinggalkan blog.
I have to admit yang ada masa that I just want to ditch this blog. Lots of things that I need to focus on. Classes, exam, Quizzes. Lagi lagi dengan bermulanya semester baru ni. Malas nya Ya Allah. TT.TT
Then, I heard some people saying that Blog is not relevant these days. Sedih jugaklah.
But then, I realized kalau bukan dekat sini aku nak membebel dekat mana lagi?
Maka bertahanlah ye. Selagi aku rasa aku nak membebel, selagi tu blog ni wujud.

Recently, some things happened to me. It is a bit private for me to story and tell.
But the main realization that hit me hard was that I'm lacking in many things. And the vital role of Usrah and Tarbiyyah in my life. I mean dalam mana mana muslim's life pun.

Since that thing happened, I thought a lot about Usrah and Tarbiyyah. Dan Dakwah.
Banyak benda sebenarnya yang sedarkan aku.
Lots. Contohnya, betapa ceteknya ilmu aku.
Dan betapa lalainya aku selama ni.
I compare myself with others and the realization that hits me hard was I am nothing compared to them.

This is where Tarbiyyah and Usrah play the role in my life.



I had talked about Usrah and Tarbiyyah in this blog dulu.
But I decided that I want to talk about it again.

Tarbiyyah means didikan. And Usrah is one of the way of Tarbiyyah. Faham dok. Ada beza ye anak anak. Usrah itu maksud dia keluarga.
Before this I just know that Dakwah, Tarbiyyah. Benda yang nak sama tapi lain.
Tapi sebenarnya dua benda tu benda yang lain. 
Kahkahkah. Tu lah. Masa ustazah duk mengajar dulu, tidur je reti.

There were many times that people asked me. How Usrah changes my life?
And Why did I joined Usrah? Soalan tu macam soalan common. Tapi masih tak ada skema jawapan. Ingat ni soalan exam nak ada skema jawapan?

I have to admit, until now. I don't know what had changed within me because of usrah sebab duk join benda ni dari masa sekolah. Except that I found friends that I can laugh and cry with. And I found siblings but with different mother and father. I could never exchange them with anything. To remind you again. Usrah is family. And we could never exchange family with anything.

Dulu, masa sekolah masuk usrah sebab mandatori. But when I reach 18, I realized that I had never try to explore myself. Masa dekat UiTM dulu. Punya lah rindu nak berusrah. 
Padahal masa sekolah dulu, punya lah gigih cari jalan nak ponteng. Hahaha.
Maahadians should know this.
And I thought to myself. Mungkin kalau aku join usrah, I could find myself. Pendek kata, misi cari diri. Cliche.

And bila masuk UNITEN dulu, the first person that I meet is Kak Nabilah. Also an ex-Maahadians.
Dia lah yang kata dekat UNITEN ada Usrah. Tapi bawah nama lain, Smart Group.
Aku masuk masih dengan sebab sama. Nak cari diri. And nak faham tentang diri.



There were times that I feels like I am lacking in everything. Especially after that things happened. And I consult with my Naqibah. I have two Naqibahs which are Kak Dayah and Nady. Gua terpaksa tabik lah dekat Naqibah-Naqibah gua sebab sabar melayan anak buah nya ini. Ihiks.
That time I feels like I am not eligible for things that I have right now. Benda apa, Rahsia. Muahaha.
Tapi ayat Nady yang buat gua sentap serta kepala macam terhantuk kat diniding is that.

Kita tak mampu buat semua , Tapi Jangan Tinggal kan semua.


I have confidence issue in some things. And I hate that.
The feeling of kau tak layak. You are nothing. That is hurt.
That time I want to leave everything. Even this blog.
Tapi betullah. 

I can't be a coward. Just because I can't do everything, I want to leave everything.

Luckily, I have my Naqibah to hantuk kepala gua balik. Biar sedar balik. HAHA.

I should talk about Usrah more. But melencong ke arah history gua pulak. Maaf.
Nama lagi membebel. Mihmihmihmih.

What I want to point out is that. I don't know what had changed within me because of usrah. But I could feel something. Benda apa. Biarlah rahsia aku dengan Dia.
Before I reach 18 dulu, I had always memperkecilkan Usrah itu. Tapi sekarang, I'm just too attached on my usrah.
And I realized, one of the way nak menangkan Islam is through Tarbiyyah.
And one of the way to tarbiyyah myself is through Usrah.

Through Usrah. I found a lot of people. 
I'm not saying that I had found myself and the answer for my questions through usrah. I am still in a way to rediscover myself. And usrah is one of my way or what people say ikhtiar. I did not found them YET. But I will. soon.

To the people who does not know what is Usrah. I suggest you. No. Not suggest. But urge you to try and commiting on Usrah.
You will know why I said like this. Mungkin terjumpa jodoh sekali dalam Usrah. Kahkahkahkah. No. I'm just kidding. But, we do not know. Ihiks. Miang.

Pasal kenapa aku kaitkan kemenangan Islam dengan Usrah, nanti aku cerita balik.
But do know that to make Islam win is not an easy task. And Usrah is one of the small steps that we could take to make Islam win.

I don't want to talk about Daie' and Madu' Yet. Nanti confuse. Ihiks. Baiklah anak anak.
Gua pi dulu. 
Till then, Toodles. Bye. :)
Assalamualaikum. 


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April 28, 2015

He Knows Best

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Salam to all readers :)

Korang tahu tak? Dulu aku selalu tertanya tanya.
Awat lah jalan hidup aku tak smooth macam kawan kawan aku yang lain.
Cukup Parents nak tengok diorang membesar.
Masuk IPTA pun senang. 
Aku pulak. Ish ish ish.

That time. Err. Always. If I had faced any difficulties in life, mesti ada yang cakap.

"Takpe Wa. Sabar kay. He Knows What Best for you."

Dan banyak. My previous entry talk on this. On being patient. Being strong.
Because of why? Because Allah knows best. Simple nye jawapan.

Kadang kadang bila orang bagi jawapan macam tu. Rasa nak fire balik pun ada. Ye Idok?
Macam lah dia tahu kesusahan yang kita alami. Duk suruh sabar lah. Be Strong lah. Eh eh eh.

O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.  2:153

Baiklah. Asyik duk cakap benda ni boring jugak.
Lemme tell you my experience. I want to explain why He knows Best. Like the best lah!

Dulu. Masa kena reject IPTA, honestly. Ada sikit sebanyak aku salahkan pihak UiTM sebab buat silap dekat result aku.
And I was devastated.

Rasa masa tu macam membazir je aku masuk Asasi Undang Undang setahun. Cuba lah kalau aku masuk matrik, takde nye jadi macam ni. Takdenya ada kes silap letak grade. Takdenya kes silap buat aku tak datang masa exam dalam slip exam. 
Setahun kot. Aku harap dengan asasi boleh jadi tiket untuk masuk IPTA.
Mudahnya harapan.

Tiba tiba sebab kes tu, punah harapan makk. Tsk Tsk.

Dan bila dapat UNITEN, sebenarnya I was not excited. Langsung tak. 
I don't feel as excited as my friends yang masuk IPTA. Air mata. Takyah cakap. Macam Air Terjun Gunung Stong. Eh. Over.

Masa tu, satu ayat je yang buat aku kuat.

 '...and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.' (Surah Baqarah: 216)

Tu je yang buat aku kuat. Over ah pulak kata aku kuat. I was not. 
That Quran verse did make me strong. In fact, it is my favourite verse of Quran.

At that time, I didn't know what will happen to me dekat UNITEN. Kena buli ke, kena reject lagi ke, result menjunam ke, takleh survive ke. I didn't know. Dah lah dah lama tinggal mathematic. Blergh.

I was just like, follow the flow. Acah.



By the time I was in the middle of my first semester in UNITEN.
I realized something. I realized why did Allah sends me to UiTM first then baru lah melencong pi UNITEN.
I realized the reasons why did Allah sends me to Asasi Law first tapi last pi Business Management. Jauh. I know.

That time, I realized that my habit in study had changed. 
My confidence level had rose. And my personality, ada sikit berubah.

Masa mid semester, ramai kawan kawan aku duk complain. Penat lah dengan Jadual UNITEN. But then, I feel that I can adjust it to my comfort.
Sebab dulu masa asasi terbiasa kelas start 8 a.m sampai 6 p.m. Straight. TT.TT
Jadual UNITEN sangat flexible. Bagi aku lah. Sebab boleh balik berehat masa ada senggang antara kelas. hehe.

My friends complaint yang 6 subjects for 4 month is not sooo cool.
But during my asasian, I have to survive 8 subjects untuk 4 bulan. So, 6 subjects in 4 months was just fine to me.

And my confidence level to talk in front of people had rose.
I am not the people yang fluent tahap petala ke lapan bila speaking.
Grammar berterabur terang tang tang.
But during my asasi, I was taught to ignore that. And just talk when I feel it is necessary to talk. For example, during class ke. Depan madam ke. 
Dulu, I was scared nak tanya soalan dekat lecturers during classes. Takut di label sebagai tak berapa pandai. Haha. Lemas jugak otak aku dulu.

There are lots of things that I perasan yang berubah.

Then, aku betul betul betul realize. Haa. 3 kali terus aku bagi.
That rejection that I faced before this was utterly dissapointing.
But then. Allah knows the best. He re-direct me to UNITEN.
He re-direct me to the right path. 
Cheesy nye rasa. But heck. That's the truth.

Lambat jugak nak bagi aku sedar tu. Mungkin banyak sangat makan maggi. Mihmihmih.

Pernah Rasulullah ditanya,

Ya Rasulullah, siapakah yang paling keras mendapatkan ujian? Baginda menjawab: Para Nabi dan
pengikut-pengikutnya. Seseorang itu akan diuji sesuai dengan kadar agama, jika kadar beragamanya kuat maka ujiannya semakin keras. Jika kadar beragamanya lemah maka dia diuji sesuai dengan kadar agamanya. Seorang hamba akan senatiasa diuji sampai dia akan dibiarkan berjalan di muka bumi tanpa membawa dosa kesalahan. 
– Hadis riwayat Imam al-Tirmidzi (no: 2322)

Tiada dosa hoii. Tiada dosa. Siapa tak nak?
To my friends who are in some difficulties or hardship, *siapa je tak. -.-
Have Faith in Him. He is the best planner after all. And the one who believes in Him will get the rewards at the end of the day.
Sebab Allah tu Pencipta kita. Confirm confirm lah Pencipta lebih tahu tentang apa yang diciptaNya. Ye dok?

And the one yang diuji oleh Allah ni sebenarnya the one yang Allah sayang. :)
Cuba belek balik sirah sirah Nabi dan Rasul. Ada ke Nabi atau Rasul yang tak pernah diuji olehNya? Tak ada kan.
So, bergembiralah wahai Sahabat. Because we are the one yang Allah sayang. Because at the end of the day, there would be something happy await us. :)

Till then, Toodles. Good bye.
Assalamualaikum. :)



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